Every year I get reflective on my birthday because it’s another year! This year I am 43 and it feels good. I’ve earned my age. As a hot new babe I know likes to say about her experiences, “It’s not my first rodeo.”
That cracks me up. I’ve been around the Mulberry Bush a few times. That’s OK. My body, my face, my growing patience with the unknown have all mirrored my age. I’m not trying to defy it.
This year, I want to get down n dirty with my ambition. And my resistance. I have wrestled a long time with my resistance and it is literally the only thing holding me back.
How many of you have dreams that keep coming to you, ideas that won’t go away, a quiet urging in the back of your chest?
And how many of you, hear it, acknowledge it, wonder about it, agree to greet it and then get distracted or just plain out ignore it because well, life? Cause life demands you to stay logical and responsible and stay on track because if you upset one thing, then the whole apple cart gets disrupted.
I think about this on my birthday because I am across the country from what I have known for most of my life, chasing a dream that stays with me no matter where I am. It’s right in front of me.
Social media makes me feel like I have a far way to go, but I know that’s not real life. It’s a construct we all agree to, a measuring stick with no accuracy. My mantra: where ever you are, you are closer than you think.
Today marks the beginning of a new solar year. My work and creative energy are at the forefront. I welcome the movement, I welcome the change. I recognize all the shifts over time.
I’m grateful for the process and for having a year that helped me realize all the things I do not like and won’t tolerate anymore.
I’m grateful for the expansion I am feeling here in PDX. When the sun is out, it’s like paradise here.
I am grateful that I finally found a spot I can be for a while, after moving 10 times in 13 years.
I am grateful that I am gaining clarity regarding the work I am here to do in this lifetime. And that I am shedding the people-pleasing mentality that has fueled my work life up to this point.
I am grateful for my family; in all its forms.
I am grateful for my health, though there are things I want to improve. Mostly, I feel good on a daily basis.
I am grateful for the lessons my dog teaches me!
I’m grateful for new relationships with new people with new energy. And orgasms!
I could go on. I have my own private list, but gratitude today is important. It’s been a helluva ride up to this point and as I move into 43, I’m loosening the reins.