So, I’m in Maine.
And I’m adjusting.
I always love coming home to Maine. My folks are here; they have a lovely amazing place by a public access spot on the beach and it’s just a slower pace of life. And as someone who spent a decade in Brooklyn, hustling and bustling around New York, it’s always been such a nice reprieve to come here and just chill the fuck out.
But here’s the thing. I was just starting to really fall in love with Portland (PDX). Like realize, holy shit, have I found my home for a while? Like wow, I am actually having fun here and it feels great and I love the people I’m meeting. Hot queers, legal cannabis a-plenty, unbelievably beautiful weather and lushness, delicious unique food and more vintage and buy/sell trade shops than I have ever seen before.
It was hard to leave. And yet, I needed to go.
Because in January, I parted ways with my long-term partner. I’m trying to figure out the best way to write about this, because I do want to write about it, but for now, I will leave it at this: breaking up with someone you love is one of the hardest things in life. It’s been excruciating. He introduced me to PDX when we first started dating and we have been going back and forth for eight years. We moved out there finally in December of last year and I knew it was a risk. But I loved him and wanted it to work and was tired of New York so I gave it a go. We tried and tried and tried and couldn’t make it work.
It’s OK. We’re amicable and we will make it to whatever next phase we’re destined to be in. But in the interim, I had to leave our house and because I wasn’t ready to just rent an apartment out there, I decided to come back to my home state of Maine.
So that’s what I did and that’s what I’m doing.
Luckily, I have a business that lets me write and work from anywhere. I am truly grateful for that privilege.
But to say it’s been a culture shock is an understatement.
First of all, where are the queers? In PDX, everywhere you go there are babes. It’s like a gay mecca.
Second of all, I’m staying by the beach which is magnificent in so many ways but I’m in an “Everybody Loves Raymond” situation with my parents, since I am staying in the cottage next to their house. I adore my parents and they are gracious by giving me space and I’m (obviously) used to doing my own thing. But seeing them more has been really great and I’m enjoying the time I have with them right now.
Third of all, I see Trump stickers! It’s so weird!
But honestly, Maine is the slow down and recap that I need. I signed up for a boot camp that is kicking my ass, I’ve been exploring Biddeford which has a small business and maker community in one of its mills, not to mention a coworking space I just joined. I’m slowly finding the gems. And I’m reconnecting with old friends that I haven’t seen for ages. It feels good.
And I feel the resistance. I don’t want to find a new place. I found my place and that is in PDX. I put down roots there. I have a doctor, a vet, a therapist, good and fun friends, my favorite shops and restaurants and dispensaries. But it’s OK. I realize I am here for a reason and even if that is not apparent to me right now, I can feel in my bones and cells that I need this time to reconvene with myself as I get ready to enter the new phase …
So yeah, greetings from Vacationland. Where the sunsets are deep and pink and plentiful, the sand is soft and Lisa’s Pizza fries are the best. It’s definitely the way life should be, I guess. For now.