The Words We Say

Last night I was FaceTiming with somebody and I said something that I regret.

I said, “Oh, I’m going to kill her!”

Today, I remembered, well, actually later that night it struck me that the person I was talking to is a domestic violence survivor advocate. But beyond that, all my years in karate at a queer feminist dojo and running in activist circles reminded me that I know better.

It’s a shitty thing to say. Even if it’s just a saying.

And it was about a friend who had disclosed something to another friend that I wasn’t expecting her to disclose. It was dumb. 

So now I’m writing about it because it just makes me realize – yet again – the power of our words.

Language gets dusty; it changes with the times. This is a lot of the reason white men find themselves in hot water now. They don’t think about their actions, they don’t think about their words. They just do what suits them and expect no consequences. Times up!

My point is, we have to watch what we say. Not to censor or inhibit, but to think about the impact of our words. 

In our culture that is full of aggression and violence, how we talk with each other is everything. It’s important to recognize when we say or act in ways that are not in accordance with who we strive to be. It’s OK to make mistakes; I’m not beating myself up by any means, but it makes me realize that I need to do better because I can do better.  I want to do better.  And so I will. 


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