Screaming Females Let Loose

Screaming Females Let Loose

Yo. So meet the Screaming Females. They’re out of New Brunswick, New Jersey. They kick it pretty hard. Marissa, the singer, has a pretty incredible vocal range. At least I think so.
I had the opportunity to interview them over email recently for GO! Magazine. You’ll be hearing more about them. In the meantime check out their myspace page and read what they did to my questions. Unfortunately, I couldn’t use all the info they gave me for the story, so I’m running their responses here. Oh, one last thing: they were uber-professional to work with. Mucho grateful for that. Enjoy:

How would you describe the band’s musical style?
Mike: Uhhggg…
Jarrett: We either like to call it “rock” or “lesbian dinosaur space rock” depending on how specific you want to be.
Marissa: We’ve been written up as, “Generic hardcorish rock”

Musical influences?
Mike: Hunchback.
Jarrett: John Cage, Stravinsky, and the RZA.
Marissa: Oh my god, the Aerosmith documentary, “PUMP”. A masterpiece.

Any particular bits of pop culture right now you’re inspired by?
Mike: World’s most Blankiest Blank, America’s funniest home videos…
Jarrett: I’m inspired by the fact that…uh…pop culture has made me feel as though we’re in a new dark ages…
Mike: Explosions are cool.
Marissa: I like to read Star magazine in the supermarket. Cat Fancy…you know…

So the band make-up is Marissa, King Mike and yourself. Can I have full names? Who plays what and how did you all get together? I hate to be a prick reporter and ask this, but I gotta know for the mag’s sake: who is queer among the bunch?
Marissa Paternoster – Guitar/Vocals
Jarrett Dougherty – Drums
KingMike – Bass
Marissa: Michael and I were in a band called Surgery on TV. He was still in high school and I had just started going to Rutgers University. That band lasted about six months until one of our members left for college. Jarrett was working on a New Brunswick compilation with a couple other kids, I had two songs on it and he contacted me about doing an interview for a music zine he had started….
Jarrett: …and hanging out. It was a shitty zine. I had given up on ever being in a band in New Brunswick. When Marissa came over to hang out I had no assumptions that we would ever play in a band together…
Mike: I just got lucky. I was hanging out with the right people.
Marissa: Needless to say, we regrouped as Surgery on TV until we decided to just go for it as a three piece. We changed our name and that was that. Mike’s kissed more boys than I have but I guess I’m the queer one. I hate this question.
Marissa: Jarrett is the least queer. Can you write that?
Jarrett: What?
Mike: You’ve kissed less dudes.
Jarrett: I don’t like your definition.
Marissa: Mike develops man-crushes all the time.

I have to admit your rifts and lyrics are pretty catchy and encourage body movement. I imagine you have followers mouthing along with you at shows. When that happened the first time, what was that like? It seems you’d be a killer party band. What’s your most memorable playing-out experience?

Marissa: Most people don’t know what I’m singing. They make effort to mouth the words and I really appreciate their enthusiasm.
Jarrett: People started adding their own little things to the music which is fun. They do more than just sing along. Our good friend Cheeseman, who is a very large man, screams “I’m reaaaadyyyy!” when he just sees us on the street.
Mike: He is a huge man.
Jarrett: Most of the shows we have played are in New Brunswick, NJ. Shows in New Brunswick aren’t parties. If I was hanging out in a college town working a shitty job after I’ve graduated just to throw parties I’d feel pretty sad about myself.
Mike: We don’t like parties but we like to party.
Jarrett: In Burlington, Vermont we played for our roadie. We were going to leave after playing one song, but then the promoter showed up and told us we couldn’t leave. We did anyway, went down the street and played at a hardcore show. Another memorable experience was at some show in Brooklyn, were a manager type fellow told me I had to “jump through hoops” or I would never make it in this business. In San Francisco we were playing this co-op record store where we played for a hundred people freaking out.
Mike: There was this time that we played a show, and uh, we sucked really hard, and then it started raining and everyone got their equipment muddy except for us because we already played. It was pretty sweet.

How’d you name the band?
Marissa: We picked it at random out of a book of poetry. I don’t even remember what book it was.

And do you all do this full-time?
Jarrett: I spend all my hours working on this band, drinking beer, or working at my shitty job.
Mike: I spend most of my time drinking beer.

If you had a band motto what would it be?
Mike: Ten more songs!
Marissa: Ughh….
Mike: Life sucks, go on tour!

What has the band been up to as of late? Do you have an album?
Jarrett: I just moved into a new house. We got home from summer tour.
Marissa: We have two albums. One is called “Baby Teeth” and the other one is called “What if Someone is Watching their TV?” We also have a self-titled 7″.
Jarrett: We release everything ourselves.

What’s coming up?
Mike: We’re going to go play some festival or something. It’s gonna be fun. I’m gonna have a good time.
Jarrett: We’re going to record a third album. After this interview we’re going to practice. Then we’re going to go to a BBQ. Then we’re going to go to Mike’s house to see Hunchback.
Mike: I’m going to put all my beer in my room so no one steals it.

Who updates your blog, it’s rad?!
Mike: Once in a blue moon I will.
Jarrett: Marissa put up pictures and art. I write about Walt Whitman and weird shit.
Mike: I put up that post about the canned cheeseburger.

And lastly, future goals, what are they? What’s the scene like in New Brunswick, New Jersey?
Jarrett: Well, last night there was this mongoloid on the corner and he was peeing on the street and he was yelling at everyone that passed by…and he said…”blah blah blah, you’re going to suck his balls later…”
Marissa: Oh, it’s just terrific.
Jarrett: If you’re at a good show in New Brunswick, it’s probably the best place in the world. There are good shows often. The time in between is just a bunch of drunk mongoloids…overpriced rent…
Mike: We have these sandwiches that people like…
Jarrett: Stop.
Mike: Maxim magazine is a fan of those sandwiches…from the grease trucks.
Jarrett: Some magazine voted it the number one sandwich in the country.
Mike: Yeah, Maxim.
Marissa: Let’s not talk about the grease trucks.
Mike: My future goals? Not to go back to school, ever.
Jarrett: My goal is to never make a resume.
Mike: I want to play music or see music for the rest of my life.
Marissa: I want a cat.
Mike: I want a cat named Henry really bad. I’ve wanted one for years. My dad would never name our cats Henry.
Jarrett: Thank you so much for writing an article about us even though we don’t have a publicity agent. Thanks to everyone who lets us play even though we don’t have a booking agent.

SATC Kinda Sucks

SATC Kinda Sucks

If you don’t want to know what happens don’t read further.
I’ll be the first to admit, I am addicted to this show. I didn’t have HBO when it was on (still don’t but that’s beside the point) but rented the seasons on DVDs and just spent hours on end, in bed, watching the episodes (hey, I had a sexy girlfriend at that time, ya know, with usually a Michelob Light and some gossip mag thrown in for good measure)…I knew where the show left off, I saw it all go down, and yes, was invested (as I still am) in the characters.
But ding dang! The movie. It’s been a mind fuck for me all day.
See, Big and Carrie are in bliss, in love, happy, yada yada yada. They decide to buy this swank pad (well, he buys it, cause he got the bling), he casually asks her to marry him, matter of factly, over chopping some sort of dinner ingredient. She agrees. He builds her a dank walk-in closet, in which she puts some fancy $525 shoes in to make it hers.
Then she starts planning for the wedding.
Writer socialite that she is, she’s in Page Six, got a Vivienne Westwood original design as a dress, a spread in Vogue, and Big is kinda freaking. The guy has commitment issues anyway, add to the mix that it is his third wedding and we know any minute the dude’s gonna bail and leave Carrie, our Carrie, FUCKED.
Meanwhile, her ladies all got their own schtick going on. Charlotte adopted a cute Chinese baby she names Lily. Original, no? Samantha is with her model boy toy, living in a phatty LA beach house and totally unhappily domesticated. And Miranda is stressed out but bored living in Brooklyn with Steve and her young’n Brady. When she finds out Steve-o has a one-nighter cause they haven’t been rolling around for awhile, she gets pissy and moves out. Fun times!
So… the wedding. We know what’s going to happen. Big calls her the night before kind of freaking out and Carrie, blissed out with her girlfriends all giggly and shit, has to talk him down off a cliff. “Yes baby, it’s just us, me and you.” Not a direct quote, but you catch my drift.
The next morning, she’s all dolled up in Couture with a blue bird feather on the side of her head and some very depressing, dark music is playing as she heads to the ceremony. Hey now, Mr Scorer, coulda make it anymore obvious?! Big has been trying to call her, but Lily conveniently scoops up Carrie’s cell phone so it’s oblivious to her he’s gonna bail. It’s only until they arrive 25 minutes late to the New York Public Library (yep, that’s where it is folks, hosting 200 peeps) and they realize he hasn’t shown up that they decide to call the fuck, who just pulled away from the curb of the place. She calls him, he tells her he can’t go through with it, she has a very composed meltdown. Friends take her away. Samantha deals with the guests. He realizes he freaked, tells driver to turn around. Their limos pass on the street. He calls her name. She gets out of the car. Bashes him with hundreds of dollars of flowers. She is dejected and humiliated. He, hated by all in the theater.
Oh G-d. Must I go on?
She spends a good portion of the movie reeling from this. The girls take her to Mexico, where she was supposed to go with Big on her honeymoon. She spends DAYS in bed, sleeping. She is so sad, so depressed, so in denial, so unwilling to deal. It’s not until Charlotte, who has been eating pudding the whole time on the trip for fear of getting sick from the food, unintentionally swallows water in the shower, gets the stomach gurgles and shits in her pants, that Carrie starts laughing again.
So, she rebuilds her life. She hires Jennifer Hudson as her assistant (who is adorable) and she gets her shit in order. Aside from this, Samantha is hilarious with her one liners. Miranda has a sour attitude and Charlotte, well, she’s just blah. I went with a coupla older ladies who thought the film was racy, which is laughable, because the sex scenes they did include just seemed to be added to remind us, hey, this is Sex And The City, and not some depressing dramedy we’re watching on Lifetime.
To conclude (because you know what, I’m boring myself even writing about this) Miranda tells Carrie that after an interaction with Steve at the rehearsal dinner, she told Big that “you guys are crazy to get married, it ruins everything” which creates a beef between them for like three days, Charlotte gets pregnant, and Samantha has the hots for some neighbor dude who is having sex everywhere she can see and propositioning her at the same time.
But the real douzy is this. Charlotte goes in for lunch at some upscale joint when she is a week away from her due date, sees Big (who she has been fantasizing about giving the riot act to) and tries to run out without being seen. Big, of course, sees her, follows her out and then guess what, people?
Her water breaks! oy veh!
He drives her to the hospital, she has her daughter and then Carrie comes. Big has by this time left. Charlotte’s husband (what’s his name, Harry?) tells Carrie that Big’s been trying to get in touch with her by writing and that she should call HIM, because he hasn’t been able to call HER since she threw her cell phone into the ocean in Mexico after finally listening to his wedding day voice mails.
Oh shiz. Here we go.
Now she’s got a 347 number. Poor broad.
So … really, I am going to conclude with the summary here: Steve and Miranda go to counseling, meet up on the Brooklyn Bridge after two weeks without speaking (suggested by the therapist, aka if both show up at designated spot, they agree the past is forgotten) and decide to go at it again. They are now googly-eyed. Samantha leaves Smith Jerrod (or whatever his name is) because she’s too hot to trot to be preparing meals for an over-highlighted model. Jennifer Hudson, er, um, Louise ends up getting engaged to her college sweetheart who told her he didn’t think she was the one, and goes back to St. Louis but leaves a bunch of mail for Carrie to open.
And then Carrie.
Our Carrie then realizes all the letters are via email and doesn’t know the password to Louise’s folder, but then the LOVE keychain that Louise always carried around and gave her before she left fell off her desk. Lightbulb moment! And there they are, all the love letters Big could never write and still can’t, poems by various old dead white dudes all lined up in her inbox. (See, that’s why she wanted to get married in the library, so she could be around all the great writers with great love stories.)
He’s sorry. He fucked up.
(the fact that I personally identify with Mr. Big is beside the point and another story for another time)…
And yep, it just so happens to be the last day, down to the last hour, to go get those shoes from that dank walk-in closet because the new owners are changing the locks or some shit. So she books it uptown. And guess who’s there? Guess! Come on!
Fucking BIG!
He was going to get the shoes to her somehow.
She RUNS towards him, not before a dramatic pause. They embrace. They lay on the carpet admiring the closet. He gets down on one knee. He proposes. He puts the shoe on her FOOT cause he doesn’t have a proper diamond. I am holding my head at this point.
Kill me now.
She wears the suit she originally knew she should wear to marry Big before she got “Carried Away.”
Oh G-d.
It’s just the two of them in the courthouse. But it would have been nice to have the girls there, no?
That’s why he called them! They are right outside! OMG!
They go to Denny’s. Cause it’s love that matters, right?
The end.

DJ Jon: Virtual Answers to Virtual Questions

DJ Jon: Virtual Answers to Virtual Questions

So this is Jon Hawkins. Born in Tokyo, lived in D.C. Can now be found behind DJ booths of varying size and locations in Maine’s hippest (and biggest) city, Portland. He’s well-known for his musical expertise at WRED 95.9 FM, the local hip hop station, where he does a damn, hot remix at noon and the Drive at 5, and scenesters know they can see him funking the beat downtown at Bubba’s Sulky Lounge. You can also catch him on Sirius Satellite Radio Hip Hop Nation 40, Monday Nights at midnight and Mainiacs can look forward to May, when he’ll be kicking it at Asylum on Saturday nights. Aside from that full plate, he’s a vegetarian, can often be seen at a sushi bar and is a hardcore film buff (just ask him about Scorsese). In case you need it spelled out for you: the guy’s got it going on.
We thought it’d be cool if we asked him a bunch of random questions to see what he’d come up with. Read on and just try to decode his mystery.

14K: First record you ever scratched? Describe the sound.
DJ JON: Wow, that takes me back. Let’s see… “Change Le Beat” by Fab Five Freddy. At the end of that record there’s the original AHHHHH this STUFF is REALLLLY FRESHHHHH!! sound that is every scratching DJs favorite sound to use. Every DJ in the 80s wanted to scratch that. My copy is warn thru!! But, That’s the big one. There have been little sounds on classic rock records and funk records that I used, but that’s the one that sticks out.

14K: If you weren’t a DJ, what would your occupation be?
DJ JON: See that’s a hard question, because I am a DJ. I’m so DJ-centric. If that’s a word. I believe everything is tied into my life as a DJ. Music, Movies, Politics, Acting, and even living as a human being. I apologize because I can’t conject on that.

14K: How would you describe the current state of the hip hop community in Portland and outside of Maine?
DJ JON: The Hip Hop community in Maine is strong. There are things that go on in Portland that just don’t go on outside of the state. But, if you are a resident or a native of the Portland area, you know that there are things that are totally unique. Like coffee brandy, or the strange isolation that happens only here. And these subtleties are transformed in the Hip Hop that comes from here.

14K: What’s the craziest/sexiest/nastiest thing you’ve ever seen while behind the DJ booth?
DJ JON: Ok, now you’re asking about the party. I have seen extreme violence. I have also seen many naked women. But, most importantly, I have seen people having a good time because of what I was doing with the music.

14K: If you had the chance to be with one starlet for an evening, who would it be and what would you do?
DJ JON: I would keep living my life as I am now. Last year Snoop Dogg passed me his blunt at a club during his CD release party and I simply said, “I don’t smoke no more.” And everyone gives me flack for that, but it’s just something I gave up to better my life.

14K: What do you see as the biggest difference between Facebook and MySpace? Do you have a preference between the two?
DJ JON: Yes. Facebook is about real people and friends for now. I have like under 100 friends so far on Facebook and I am very protective of it. Myspace I have like 4,000 friends of which I know personally about 200.

14K: What is one thing people would be surprised to know about you?
DJ JON: Nothing. But I hope they are impressed with what I do with what they already know.

14K: Name your most favorite guilty pleasure.

DJ JON: Cheesy 80s R&B. I love it, sorry.

14K: Are you behind any political candidate thus far? If so, who & why?
DJ JON: Obama. But it feels like we have to vote for Hillary in these next elections to draw him out a little more.

14K: What Web sites/blogs do you check daily, if any?

DJ JON: $ecret$

14K: What will absolutely always bring a smile to your face?
DJ JON: When a really good song becomes a hit record.

14K: If you suddenly came into $10 million, what would you do?

DJ JON: I have a long straw. I reach across the room and I drink your milkshake. I DRINK IT UP!

14K: Name five famous people who you see as being a positive influence in our culture.
DJ JON: Hard to answer that because positive is such a grey area.. and so is our culture. But if there was a gun to my head, Kenny Dope, Dr. Roxanne Shante, The Jungle Brothers, DJ Premier and me!

14K: Any advice for Mz. Spears?
DJ JON: None, but I appreciate learning about how strange life can be if you’re a pop star.